Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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