go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
