Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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