I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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