Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
