I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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