just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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