So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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