he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
