So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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