Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
barbara walters just said penis...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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