I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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