the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We left the knife in your bed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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