New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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