youre lurking in front of me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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