Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
