Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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