i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
