If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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