Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
