On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
