wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
