Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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