I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A+ Viking dick
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
