Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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