I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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