it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
