He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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