about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
