is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
