hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
