Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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