I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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