Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
