Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
