dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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