the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Everclear isn't food dammit
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
