We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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