FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i've created a new STD.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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