I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
