is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
