She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
