DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
