Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
