I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
