u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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