i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk is not a location!
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