There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
