i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
