we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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