That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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