drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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