I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
