And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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