let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
