bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
