So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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