you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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