What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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