So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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