I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize