Non-Jews are for practice
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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