My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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