im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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